Living Teal

I was flipping through the pages of a 2021 edition of Vogue, when I stumbled upon this article on 'masters of none'.  A familiar looking face, somewhat of a fusion between Charlie Cox and Pankaj Tripathi, caught my eye. It was Zohran Mamdani, the rapper turned politician. Yep, it was not so far away in the world of 2021's when our newfound poster-child of Indian pluralism, American activism and South African multiculturalism, was quoting about Diljeet Dosanjh. You read that right! Mr Cardamom, or as he was known back in his early days in the NYC music scene, was getting inspired from Mr Dosanjh's 'Do You Know', so much that he had planned on writing his very own version of it, titled 'Did You Vote'. Unbelievable, I thought. How can people, or more like, some very few people take career U turns in their lives as successfully as Mr Mamdani did. All these stories hit your truly home like nothing else had in a long while. And ardent readers like yourself cou...

On the 9th day of the afternoon of January 2024, I wondered why did I not make any resolutions this year. Because over the past many years of my adult life, I have gone from making detailed schedules to jotting down high level ideas, with a hope that this year would be the year of change.  While each year is a whole new year and the change is persistent, the only difference is whether you are floating through the tides of time, or taking the front seat and steering through the course of the seasons. So then again I pondered and asked myself, why did I not write any down this time? Because I definitely did think about them and a few ideas did cross my mind. I suppose it was because I was somewhat scared to put anything down to writing, fearing the failure to meet any of them. Like every other year, I would be forgetting all about them within the first few weeks into the new year only to remember them back in mid December starting the whole process all over again. These past 9 days, ...

A broken heart, Teaches you that you cannot control everything.  That what you deemed impossible to happen can happen.  That change is part of life.  That however much you resist, you will move on. That you are stronger than you thought you were. That you are more vulnerable than you thought you were. That you can feel. Feel the greys and blues, and get drenched into them completely. Soaked head to foot, like you never knew you could. That some people will always be there in your life no matter how loathsome you become. That some friendships will get stronger than they ever were. That you will learn things about yourself that you always knew,  But forgot, in the inebriations of love. That you have a life apart from the person who you thought was your life. That you have gifts, talents that matter more than anything else should. That people come above it all. And taking them for granted is a second mistake you will never commit. That you will eventually see clear thro...

I have always been into art. But could never identify myself as an artist. Because those were the ones who could sketch a perfect portrait. Or colour a real life scenery to the finest of detail. I on the other hand, mostly just had an eye for art, that had no rules. Which was abstract and flowing. More bohemian than modern. More form than function. And to me somehow, Art has never been liberating. But rather burdening. Making me feel like a liar, an outcast. Someone who has been hiding their true colours when in a pool of engineers. And at the same time I was someone who distanced herself from the artists. As they always appeared un-relatable and different. This is what I call being stuck between two worlds. Never fully here, never fully there. Floating somewhere in the void. You could call me a jack of all traits and master of none. And I have had big time commitment issues throughout my life. I would always want some thing really bad. Like a book or a gadget. And would feel that it c...

Its been quite a week in the tech world. And I am writing this one on a Wednesday night, because "I no longer have enough in the tank" (thankyou Jacinda) , to wait for it to end. Layoffs continued through the weekend, and it gave me a reality check on life, and a check on my privilege. As I didn't have any home loan EMIs, medical bills or school fee to pay just yet.  However, I was surprised to see myself stuck in that rabbit hole of worrying about whats next, once the layoff season kicked off. Because on most days, I am too proud and full of artistic arrogance to bury myself in the day to day pursuits of adulthood - like taxes and insurances. And on the other, I know that I am not new to these uncertainties, thanks to my prior experience in the startup world. Where oscillating between the opposite ends of likelihood, from "we are very close to getting funded" to "Sorry we are bankrupt, and cant pay your bonuses." is very much prevalent. However it was...

It had been an eventful 2022. I got married! It took me 6 months to prepare for the when, the where, the whose-who & the how of it. And then, just in a blink and 4 days, I got married to the love of my life. I feel so grateful, for life to be this generous to me. I wish though, I expressed it more often. Spending a lifetime with a person who likes you for who you are is not just a gift, but also a part of our purpose.  Getting married changed things for me. Initially, I was hit by the inertia that had set everything in motion and I found myself rolling along with it, hitting one corner to the other. Suddenly I had to be the most responsible and perfect married woman out there. And I could only see myself failing. Making home cooked dinners was something I always wanted to do, and so was getting full authority over the kitchen. But I found that I was much slower than I liked and couldn't find time for anything else after it. I was also unable to maintain a squeaky clean house, a...