First hand accounts of Patriarchy

I was a tiny girl who loved to play hide and seek. One day I decided to hide behind my parent's bed to scare my Ma when she would come inside. Ma and Dadi came into the room and I heard Ma saying to Dadi, "Lekin mujhe mera beta hi zyada pasand h" ( I like my son more). I jumped up frightening myself instead. "Kyaa?" I asked in astonishment. Don't get me wrong, I am the apple of my Mum's eye. She told me later that she had to say it for my grandma. You should know why.

I didn't know what that statement really meant back then. But over the years I couldn't help but see the deep held roots of patriarchy suffocating the society. Growing up, the favourite plot line for most of the TV shows was pretty much like so - girl is forced into a marriage, girl hates the guy, eventually girl learns to fall in love with the guy and be a good wife to him. Permutate the age and background, for the girl and boy and this formula would end up fitting into most of the popular daily soaps of that time.

When the #metoo movement came about, it became a joke of some sorts at the office. Some really good jokes might I add. But I was shocked to see that it was actually reduced to just that, for a lot of my male coworkers. Their primary question being- if the woman went through so much of torture why didn't she speak up then? Why is she speaking up 10-20 years down the line? I couldn't help but laugh and cry at that statement. I am not saying that false accusations don't happen, but what startled me was the sheer ignorance to the problems of women in sharing such incidences with the society. This pathetic veil of perceived purity that a woman needs to supposedly wear all her life to protect herself from being called a slut. The veil that clearly strangles more than it protects.

I won't complain though, unlike a sugarcane plantation worker, at least I did not have to get my ovaries removed to qualify as an employable individual. Unlike my mum, at least I wasn't forbidden to study engineering, in the dilemma of not being able to find an engineer husband for me. I won't complain. But I certainly won't keep quiet next time someone tries to clip my wings.

                                                                  Art by Stella Bentama 


To all the strong women out there, I summon your strength through incomprehensible struggles, I call out your perseverance in challenging times, I beckon your determination to shatter tall glass ceilings and most importantly I chant aloud your immense will to make the impossible happen.

Kali, Katyayani, Durga
XOXO

-T

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